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Quail Frenzy,Superstitions and Myths-By Profarms Consultants

~Do you want a job promotion? Do you? Then
eat quail eggs.

~Do you want your marriage to
work? If you do, eat quail eggs.
~Do you want to become Kenya’s president in
2017? Simple, consult your next door quail
eggs vendors.
~I bet you chickens are laughing their eggs off
to all those who had jumped on the quail
bandwagon only to be disappointed.

All hail the quail!

There’s a quail frenzy people!
Wherever you turn, there is a person talking about
quail, quail eggs, and their miraculous abilities…
At this point it looks like the only thing quails and
their eggs can’t do is run for president.
We are a quail country and from the looks of things,
we can do all things, no, not through Christ who
strengthens us, but through the out of this world
magic powers of quail eggs.
Do you want a job promotion? Do you? Then eat
quail eggs. Do you want your marriage to work? If
you do, eat quail eggs.
Do you want to become Kenya’s president in 2017?
Simple, consult your next door quail eggs vendors.
They are not hard to find, they are everywhere.
Quails are here to heal the sick, give sight to the
blind and, according to a very good source on
Facebook who goes by the name “Xaniqua Xoxo
Xherry Mrx Lil Weezy”, they can also cure AIDS.
Yes, my very trusted source who speaks fluent
Facebook, and whose profile photo is of Rihanna
wrote a post detail how, if you eat 300 quail eggs,
you will be HIV/AIDS free.
You know what, I agree with her. If you eat 300
eggs, you will drop dead and at the same time, you
will have killed the viruses. It makes sense.
Going by the success and miraculous powers of this
tiny things, I think I know some of the people who
have been eating them. Let us start with Lupita
Nyong’o.
MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON TALENT ALONE
You think talent alone got her to where she is? Hell
no! She has been eating quail eggs since she was
two.
Immediately she got off the plane from Mexico, she
pounced on them with glee. I have this on poor
authority I’ll have you know.
She comes from Kisumu, a place where quails have
been roaming the countryside for years. They are
called Aluru and have been a delicacy for
generations, that is until some Kikuyu chap
discovered them.
If you listen to Lupita giving her acceptance
speeches, you will hear her thank her parents, late
uncle, family, friends and quails. She mentions
them in a whisper since she does not want people
to discover her secret.
I am telling you people, my sources, who neither
know, nor have they ever met Lupita tell me that
she forgot to pop a quail egg just before she
attended the Golden Globes. That’s why she did not
win the Best Supporting Actress award.
She learnt her lesson and is said to have ordered a
shipload of quail eggs in readiness for the
Oscars.The other person who has been popping
quail eggs since he was two months old is Victor
Wanyama.
First, quail is an animal and so the bird is
represented in the footballer’s second name and
the quail gods have been happy with him and have
thus, rewarded him — heavily.
In November, the Southampton player had
committed the most fouls in the Premier League
through nine games, averaging three fouls per
game. Now, how is that for recognition?
Not even Messi has ever had that honour so, all hail
the quail. When they hold the Baloon F’Oul,
Wanyama will get it unopposed. Suck on that
Ronaldo. But, this bird’s mythical powers are
waning as greed overrides common sense.
Everyone is now rearing them since at some point
in December, an egg roughly the size of one
“Tropical sweet” was retailing for Sh100.
Everyone rushed to rear them while singing along
to The Jefferson’s “Movin’ on up” soundtrack. I saw
some even do the Jefferson power walk. Well, if you
look around, the prices are now a measly Sh9.
That is right, they are even lower than those of
chicken eggs, a bird that has been so loyal to us
but whom we betrayed for quail, the candy of the
month.
I bet you chickens are laughing their eggs off to all
those who had jumped on the quail bandwagon
only to be disappointed.
I guess this is how wives feel when their husbands
return home after realising that the spring chicken
they had left them for had dipped in value and they
figure out that the “old hag” they left behind was
better all along.
But worry not husbands, if you get your wives to
eat 100 raw quail eggs, your problems will be over.
No, they will probably not take you back but it will
wipe off that “I told you so” smirk off their faces.
See, quails do have magic powers.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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