By Bernard Wainaina
CEO,Profarms Consultants®

We, as guys, need help in the romance department once in a while because, admit it, being romantic isn’t easy because you can’t keep repeating the things you did two months ago just because they worked.

But borrowing ideas isn’t bad, what is bad is not trying at all.

And since Cold-August is here with us, gentlemen, we might be required to take the ladies for a retreat of sort, for a holiday.

And also since sharing is caring, and since we all share a common fate, I will share some travel destinations that you can take her to that will earn you brownie points and- hopefully – keep you out of the doghouse.

Maasai Mara Game Reserve is special place.

It’s endless in beauty.

The skies are shade of blue that is not in the colour spectrum.

In Mara, the wind doesn’t blow, it purrs.

Whilst Nairobi is constantly marked by a choking anxiety, the Mara lives a perpetual sense of longevity. A sense of rebirth.

At the Mara the gods look over you.


I mean if angel wanted to, they would toss you a piece of half eaten Pizza from heaven’s dinner table.

Yes, it’s that close to heaven.

But the Mara is also an endless cliché; the Maasai’s stand on one leg.

I mean, it’s like looking at a postcard.

Only it’s a postcard that smells of milk and blood.

I don’t mean to disparage the Maasai,or their touristic importance, but come on,are they always standing on one leg?

I mean I saw this Maasai chap who was busy chilling out by the roadside, chewing a blade of grass or something,and once he saw our van approach he sort of took one leg off the ground and leaned on his spear! Sigh.

These sly guys will do anything to get onto Youtube!

Anyway, when our van neared and he saw that we were just a bunch of black Kenyans, he spat the grass out and walked away with a Mara swagger, perhaps to go milk a cow…or
whatever they do during their free time now that they have become lazy to hunt lions anymore.

Another thing, you can’t take a picture of a Maasai if you don’t show him a certificate of good conduct, an original ID,your blood group result from a certified doctor and money.


Things have changed a lot, Maasai’s have
become smart.

They know what a camera is, and they know that a picture is worth a thousand words, and quite often a thousand bucks if you sell it to a newspaper or more for a magazine.

So they ask for money if you want
a picture.

If you take a picture of him without money or
his consent, he spears you.

If you point a camera in his face without his consent spears you.

If you have dreadlocks and you look like a lion of Judah, he spears you.

But they are justified in a sense (justified to ask for money, not to spear you).

I mean the payment is not just for his face, it’s for the amount of time he spends twisting his braids, or looking that warrior-like.

So pay or get speared in the heart.

I tried taking a picture of some Maasai kids playing by some pond on our way to
the lodge, and they got really agitated and dramatic those kids, someone would have thought I tried taking off with their clothes.

They started screaming (kiddie war cry) and
basically being a nuisance in the damn Mara.

So I didn’t click which was just as well.

I mean, they didn’t even look like Maasai kids, they were naked.

Talking of nakedness, doesn’t nakedness reduce every man (and woman) to one element; human?

Isn’t it clothes that define who we are as opposed to how long our eyelashes

Think about it, take ten guys from different races, and put them on a police line-up.

Now ask them to strip.

Won’t they just be men at the end of it all?

Ok, hang on, get that African off the lineup, he is making everyone else look bad by being too black!

Let’s go to Nyeri,the home county of the famous Mt. Kenya in my next post!

“The African Story as told by Africans”.©African News Digest®

“The African Story as told by Africans”.©African News Digest®

“The African Story as told by Africans”.©African News Digest®